First Offical Doctor's Appointment

Yesterday I saw the midwife at Meridan's Women's Health and had the big, long informational visit.  She didn't seem scared about my family history, so that's good.  Apparently they are more concerned with a family history of Down's Syndrome, immunodeficiency diseases, and birth defects than they are with large amount of cancer in my family. They also did not chastise me for being an "obese mother," which I was freaking out about, so all in all it was pretty good.


During the exam, she said everything looks great and I am actually closer to nine weeks than eight, like I originally thought.  She also gave me a new due date of August 28th instead of September 5th.


It's really weird though, because I am feeling really down in the dumps today.  I had really thought they would do SOMETHING to be sure my baby was in there growing ... I knew I might not be able to hear a heartbeat yet, but practically every mother I have talked to in the past few weeks has said they got an early ultrasound.  So why didn't I?  


They also said I won't be getting my first ultrasound until 19-20 weeks!! That seems late to me.  And, of course, when I made my next appointment for the middle of February, I didn't have the presence of mind to ask if they will be looking for a heartbeat that day.  And now I am afraid to call and ask.  But I would really like to know, because if they ARE, Jeremy wants to be there, and it would have to be moved to a Friday.  And if they AREN'T, then I need to find a way to explain that I NEED that to happen.


Yes, I know the solution to this is all very simple:  CALL THE PLACE. But, if you know me well, you know my struggles with anxiety and panic (which I really don't have the time, energy, or space to explain here), and you know that a simple phone call like that can reduce me to tears.  Believe me.  I have been hung up on a lot.  Years ago, I couldn't even order a pizza.  Thankfully, I can do so now.  Otherwise, I might have wasted away to nothing by now! :)


Anyway, I am feeling sad and like it still isn't real, but I do love the midwife I met with yesterday.  When I told her about the nausea, she gave me a prescription (love her!), but she also said, "Oh, honey, I know right now you are thinking 'I did NOT sign up for this!' but soon you will be loving this pregnancy!"  


When she asked me if I had any travel plans for the rest of the pregnancy, I told her about my dad's big banquet in Detroit at the end of August that is bigger than his wedding, my wedding, and the birth of Jesus combined and he needed me there, she said, "Well, stop by the day of the banquet, and we'll give you your file.  They have lovely hospitals in Detroit."  So I bet my dad will be happy to hear that. :)


My mom said I need to write more about how I'm happy to be pregnant. Let me direct you here and here.  Yes, I am ECSTATIC to be having a child.  But, unfortunately, right now I am not too excited with my personal pregnancy.  But that doesn't mean I am not still grateful and excited, and I have high hopes that I will be happy soon.  So, here's to hoping!!