30 Weeks

Today the baby is probably about 16 inches long and weighs a little over over three pounds (and she’ll be packing on the weight at a rate of half a pound per week for the next seven weeks!).  Also growing daily is her brain, which is actually starting to look like the real thing with the characteristic grooves and wrinkles.  And now that she can regulate her own body temperature, she'll begin shedding her lanugo (the downy body hair that's been keeping her warm up until now).  Her eyes are also continuing to develop, even though she keeps them closed most of the day.  When she does open her eyes, her vision is 20/400, meaning she can only see a few inches in front of her face, but she will respond to changes in light.


I have been feeling okay -- just the normal "uncomfortableness" of being huge and waddle-y.  I have had some nausea return and am also having a little bit of heartburn off and on, but nothing too drastic.  The swelling in my ankles and feet have been MUCH better over the last few weeks, and I even found a new pillow arrangement that allows me three hours of uninterrupted sleep at a time before I have to wake up and roll over to my other side to give the current hip a break.  Before, I was waking up EVERY twenty minutes to flip over.  Not ideal.  I did have to steal one of Jeremy's pillows to create this new arrangement, but he seemed more than happy to have the constant flip-flopping stop!


And I just got home from my shower and got a belly picture, but I am much too exhausted to say anything about it.  That will have to be a post for tomorrow.  

17 Weeks and I Can't Stop Eating!

The 17 week descriptions I have been reading are a lot less exciting than previous weeks.  Other weeks are full of exciting things that make me want to end a million sentences with exclamation marks, but this week is a little short on exciting.


Now that I have made everyone want to stop reading already:  Week 17.

This week, the baby is probably about 5 ounces and 5 inches from head to rump.  His or her skeleton is finally transitioning from cartilage to bone, and the sweat glands are beginning to function.

Jeremy and I just talked about how all the measurements are actually head to rump, and if you think about little legs too, it's much longer than we have been imagining.  We held up our hands and got an estimate of the baby's size, and it was pretty cool.  It's definitely no longer a little soybean, but a little miniature baby doll!!

As for me, I am feeling better.  I am definitely out of the first trimester, and my nausea is pretty much totally gone and my appetite is BACK and bigger than ever.  It is kind of strange all the little things I can feel now that the nausea isn't so huge that it takes over everything.  My stomach definitely feels weird -- moving hurts, and my body is already trying to convince me that bending over is a bad idea.  My bump is getting very hard and my skin is feeling pretty stretched out.  Moving around is just so different that it is a little frustrating and exhausting already.  My hips have been hurting, so I have been slowly increasing how much exercise I get every day.  

I am also pretty unable to get comfortable at night.  Everything I have read has said to practice sleeping on your left side, and it is bad to sleep on your back.  I know that will be more true later on, but it still freaks me out that I fall asleep on my side and ALWAYS wake up flat on my back.  Any ideas on how to convince my body to only sleep on one side?  Especially since I wake up with aching hips from lying on my side on our crappy mattress all night?  Please advise! 

But, overall, I am feeling much better.  I am just more uncomfortable than anything, and I will take that over my first trimester experience any time!!  I am looking forward for the fifth month to begin soon!!

12 Weeks

Twelve weeks already.  I would love to report that I am feeling better, but now it's more like intermittent horribleness.  One day I will be feeling awesome (and then I stupidly say something like, "Jeremy!  I think I am turning a corner here!") and then the next day I will be back on the couch unable to lift my head.  But at least I am having some good days!


On Thursday I was actually thinking about posting about how much better things were getting, but I decided to wait for Friday.  Friday morning I was feeling fantastic.  I had a morning meeting at work (still feeling fantastic) and then I was driving home and ... BAM.  I threw up in a Tim Horton's bag while driving on the expressway.  It was so freaky and came out of nowhere!  Most of what I have been dealing with is just that overwhelming nausea feeling, and I wasn't even feeling nauseated when this happened!  I called Jeremy panicked and crying (which turns out, didn't help), and then got home and took a 3-hour nap.  What a weird day!


Anyway, two more weeks and the first trimester will be a distant memory!  This week the baby is the size of a lime ...

... and I am apparently already the size of a house! :)


But amazing things are happening this week.  The baby is developing REFLEXES!  Reflexes!!  I told Jeremy (through sobs, of course) and he was just as shocked as I was that the baby is opening and closing its little fingers, curling its toes, and making SUCKING MOVEMENTS!  It is just too amazing.


Nerve cells are forming rapidly now, and synapses in the brain are forming furiously.  The face also looks more human now.


The baby probably looks something like this today:

Except, let's be honest -- my baby probably already has a MUCH bigger butt than normal babies at this point! :)


The next doctor's appointment is this Thursday, and Jeremy will get to go with me to hear the heart beat!!  I am so excited!  Maybe they will also tell me it is twins, and that is why I am already as big as a moose!

First Offical Doctor's Appointment

Yesterday I saw the midwife at Meridan's Women's Health and had the big, long informational visit.  She didn't seem scared about my family history, so that's good.  Apparently they are more concerned with a family history of Down's Syndrome, immunodeficiency diseases, and birth defects than they are with large amount of cancer in my family. They also did not chastise me for being an "obese mother," which I was freaking out about, so all in all it was pretty good.


During the exam, she said everything looks great and I am actually closer to nine weeks than eight, like I originally thought.  She also gave me a new due date of August 28th instead of September 5th.


It's really weird though, because I am feeling really down in the dumps today.  I had really thought they would do SOMETHING to be sure my baby was in there growing ... I knew I might not be able to hear a heartbeat yet, but practically every mother I have talked to in the past few weeks has said they got an early ultrasound.  So why didn't I?  


They also said I won't be getting my first ultrasound until 19-20 weeks!! That seems late to me.  And, of course, when I made my next appointment for the middle of February, I didn't have the presence of mind to ask if they will be looking for a heartbeat that day.  And now I am afraid to call and ask.  But I would really like to know, because if they ARE, Jeremy wants to be there, and it would have to be moved to a Friday.  And if they AREN'T, then I need to find a way to explain that I NEED that to happen.


Yes, I know the solution to this is all very simple:  CALL THE PLACE. But, if you know me well, you know my struggles with anxiety and panic (which I really don't have the time, energy, or space to explain here), and you know that a simple phone call like that can reduce me to tears.  Believe me.  I have been hung up on a lot.  Years ago, I couldn't even order a pizza.  Thankfully, I can do so now.  Otherwise, I might have wasted away to nothing by now! :)


Anyway, I am feeling sad and like it still isn't real, but I do love the midwife I met with yesterday.  When I told her about the nausea, she gave me a prescription (love her!), but she also said, "Oh, honey, I know right now you are thinking 'I did NOT sign up for this!' but soon you will be loving this pregnancy!"  


When she asked me if I had any travel plans for the rest of the pregnancy, I told her about my dad's big banquet in Detroit at the end of August that is bigger than his wedding, my wedding, and the birth of Jesus combined and he needed me there, she said, "Well, stop by the day of the banquet, and we'll give you your file.  They have lovely hospitals in Detroit."  So I bet my dad will be happy to hear that. :)


My mom said I need to write more about how I'm happy to be pregnant. Let me direct you here and here.  Yes, I am ECSTATIC to be having a child.  But, unfortunately, right now I am not too excited with my personal pregnancy.  But that doesn't mean I am not still grateful and excited, and I have high hopes that I will be happy soon.  So, here's to hoping!!

Food Woes

I have been struggling more and more with food lately.  Yesterday, the only thing I could stomach was ... french fries.  

Yes, greasy, terrible, lacking in nutritional content french fries. However, they totally saved the day. I was having a B-A-D day yesterday.  I felt all sick and die-y, and it all came to a head when I was driving downtown to meet Jeremy for his lunch break, and I nearly got into a car accident ... on purpose.  A man ignored a yield sign and tried to pull out in front of me at the last second in a rotary, and I seriously considered jerking the wheel and teaching him a lesson ... road rage style.  Apparently the look on my face was enough, because he whipped it into reverse SO FAST.


I got to the restaurant before Jeremy and Loel, and the waitress actually asked if I was okay.  I guess I looked that green.  So I ate an entire basket of fries before they even showed up, and I felt GREAT for the rest of the day.


Anyway, I woke up today feeling really terrible, and couldn't think of anything to eat.  So I drank a few ounces of a protein drink and headed to Meijer.  DEAR GOD.  I almost sat down in the middle of the aisle at one point and gave up.  I considered calling Jeremy at work to come get me.  I cried twice.  Once because I went to buy ingredients for a lovely soup I was going to make my friend Heather today, and when I saw one of the ingredients, which is also one of my favorite foods, I had to run away so I wouldn't ruin ANOTHER purse by puking in it.  The other time because I saw a bib in the baby aisle that said "I may be small, but I'm the boss."  I actually sobbed at that point.


After TWO HOURS at the store and only getting four little bags of food, I got home and made myself a snack I was really hoping would make me less of a basket-case.


Take a look at this:

I feel like I am in a commercial.  And it was DELICIOUS.  And now I feel stellar.  


I was shocked, because the baby has refused every other type of cracker, but for some reason Toasteds are okay.  Hmmm.  


I really hope this continues to be a good snack and I can pack it for work this week, because I have SO few foods I can eat right now.

7 Weeks ...

... supposedly.  I just confirmed with my doctor/midwife's office that if I want an early ultrasound to determine my actual due date, it will not be for another two weeks.  Splendid.  So, until then, I am still using my best guesstimate, and therefore, I am probably seven weeks today. Yay!


I have been waiting for this particular early milestone ever since I first cracked open What to Expect When You're Expecting ... the baby is now TEN THOUSAND TIMES bigger than it was a month ago!!  That boggles my mind!


Even though he/she is growing exponentially, it is probably still only a quarter of an inch long and the size of a blueberry. 


The biggest fetal growth this week will be the head -- the brain cells are being generated at ONE HUNDRED cells a minute.  


And, good news -- the tail has almost entirely disappeared (hopefully)!

The arm and leg buds are growing longer and stronger and are now dividing into hand, arm, and shoulder segments and leg, knee, and foot segments.

This is crazy -- the baby has now gone through THREE sets of kidneys!  The ones in place now are the ones he/she will have permanently, and will being fulfilling their waste management duties next week.

The baby now has partial eyelids covering eyes that already have some color!

He/she also has an appendix and a pancreas already!

I'm sorry I keep ending every sentence with an exclamation mark!  I just can't stop!  

Anyway, that's week seven for the baby.  Week seven has started out relatively okay for me.  I read that 75% of women deal with this "all-the-livelong-day" sickness, and of them, half will feel better by 14 weeks, and MOST of the rest will feel better a few weeks after that.  So ... the odds are on my side!  I'm not okay, but I'm also not in the fetal position, so I've got that going for me.

Something else I had never read before -- I currently have 10% more blood than I did before pregnancy, and by the time the baby is full term I will have 45% more blood!  Crazy.

Well, that's about all.  I can't wait to get into the second trimester and start seeing and feeling more exciting changes (that don't involve nausea and huge, painful boobs!).

Call Morgan Spurlock, Because I Think This McDonald's Relationship Might Be Official

I went back to work today ... let me just sum it up by saying it is TRULY embarrassing to have a hard time teaching a college class because standing up and speaking is enough to exhaust you and make your voice all wavery.  A few times I pretended that I was searching for a word so I could take a few deep breaths.  So now my students think I am so out of shape I get winded from standing AND I am inarticulate.  Maybe not the greatest strategy, but it was the best I could come up with at the time.


I also learned that the only reasons I was not experiencing certain pregnancy symptoms that people asked about was because I was living on the couch and the nausea was so overwhelming I could not feel anything else.  Well, standing up straight for 10 minutes in fancy shoes was enough for me to develop such an ache in my lower back I had the urge to grab at it like you can only get away with when you look nine months pregnant.  Yikes.


I have to say, though, I think the only reason I didn't end up on the floor in the fetal position, rocked by nausea is because I stopped for an Egg McMuffin again.  The only other day I remember not feeling like dying was the first day I stopped for an Egg McMuffin breakfast, so I have a sneaking suspicion that it might be the key to my success.  I guess it could be worse.


I also stopped at Taco Bell on the way home and got a Strawberry Fruitista Freeze, and OHMYGOD, I loved those things before, but NOW?  I want need a million a day.  Thankfully, I had found a recipe an hour before that for a strawberry-lime freeze, and Jeremy said he would make me one tonight.  Yumlicious.


There was one highly odd and scary moment today: I sneezed, and there was such a deep, stabbing pain across my abdomen that I gasped and nearly swerved off the road.  I have never felt anything like that before, and I am hoping there is someone out there who can explain it and ease my worries.  So, get on it! 

Meh ...

There has not been to much to report around here, except for the fact that I have been experiencing some serious ups and downs.


One minute I am feeling awesome and the next minute I have crumbled to the couch, my whole body overcome with ... horribleness.  I think the good moments are actually making things worse, because I get all excited and do exhausting things and forget to eat a nibble every hour, and then I plummet to the bottom of my "feeling like dying" meter.


My cravings lately have consisted of kalamata olives, Claussen pickles, and melted American cheese (on ANYTHING, but I can mostly only eat it on while grain bagels).


I am also VERY anxious to get to the doctor.  I need some proof and some questions answered.  I have been having some very slight cramping on and off, and I have read in a million places that it is normal, but I won't believe it is normal until she can say I am safely pregnant and things are progressing normally.  I am also VERY hopeful that I can get an anti-nausea prescription!  I start back at work tomorrow, and I really can't have any of this "bad day" nonsense.  I can't teach college composition classes from my couch.  I asked my dean, and he said no.  Booo.


So, more updates some time this week on how I manage to teach without puking or crying!  I am optimistic, but, you never know what the soybean has planned! 

Leaps and Bounds

Thanks to Arwen Mosher, I am no longer dying!  Let's give it up to her for telling me my blood sugar is likely all whack if I am eating things like saltines.  She suggested trying to get protein and fat into my mouth every time I eat.  She warned me it would sound terrible, but I trusted her and ate a nice fatty protein this morning and LIKE MAGIC the sea of sickness in my stomach calmed, and I probably could have eaten ANYTHING today.  I kept it up with a lot of small protein meals, and I am feeling like a rock star.


Her timing could not have been more perfect, because I had to head back to work today.  We had a 6-hour long meeting and I had been pretty worried that I would die 5 minutes into it and get fired.  But I survived!  And I even went GROCERY SHOPPING after the 40-minute drive and CAME HOME AND MADE CHILI!!!!  These things have not been happening lately because of all the death, but now it's like I'm a whole new lady.


The other great stride I made today is finally choosing a place to make an appointment for my first huge "intake" appointment.  I decided to try the Meridian's Women's Health Center on the advice of Miss Jess (you take a bow, too) and I liked the sound of the place.  I am even more excited that they have a certified midwife on staff, and I will be meeting her for my initial appointment.  The only problem is I still have to wait another two weeks to get in.  Grrr!  I am still having those terrible fears that I am not really pregnant, and I need some blood work or nice close up pictures of the baby (I kid) to provide me some evidence.  And I have lots of questions (surprise!).


In other news, this is what soybean looks like right about now:

Isn't she cute!?!?!  (Jeremy calls the baby "he" and I call the baby "she" -- just to be fair.)


The nose, mouth and ears are beginning to take shape, and the baby's heart is beating 100-160 times a minute.  Blood is beginning to course through his body, the intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to the lungs has appeared.  The pituitary gland is forming, as are the the rest of the brain, muscles, and bones.  The tongue and vocal cords are even beginning to form!


The baby is probably a quarter of an inch long and is about the size of a lentil bean.


I really wasn't prepared for how different it would be to read this information when it was MY BABY they were describing.  I cried when I read the 6-week physical changes descriptions to Jeremy from What to Expect When You're Expecting.  Well, no surprise there!


I continue to get GREAT ideas and advice and motivation.  Thanks to all of you, and keep it coming! 

New Year's Pukey Eve/1st Pukey Wedding Anniversary

Well, tonight is New Year's Eve and our first wedding anniversary.  Sigh ... tre romantique!  


Except ... oh yeah, I am DYING.  The past couple of days have been a sick roller coaster of sickness, sobbing, and curling up in a ball on the couch.


My poor husband even made a delicious meal for our anniversary that I couldn't even stand to look at.  I had rice instead.


Then, of course was the cake.  Jeremy loved it.  I took a little bite and then asked Jeremy if I had to swallow it.  He told me I didn't have to, but I said I didn't want to risk a divorce.

Jeremy's mom had also gotten us a sweet bottle of champagne with a Happy Anniversary tag on it.  What a big night we have ahead of us!

Except, this was how I looked and felt the entire night ...

Those whole grain bagels are my new best friend.

Happy New Year's, everyone!!

Here Comes the Nausea!

I have been feeling okay these past few weeks.  Queasy and exhausted, but nothing I can't handle.  Until today.  Oh.  My.  Word.  At about 3 PM it hit me like a ton of bricks.  

I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when a wave of nausea like I have never experienced hit me.  I about fell over.  So I laid down, and I didn't get up until after Jeremy got home from work at 5.

I was laying on the couch, horrified and dying, when Jeremy walked in the door.  I asked him to come over to me and he didn't immediately -- he had the audacity to take off his shoes (slowly) -- so I started sobbing.  Jeremy asked me if he could bring me toast to make my stomach feel better, and I gagged so hard Jeremy took a few steps back!  I cried for a solid 20 minutes, telling him how horrible I felt, until he left (escaped) to walk the dog.  

I felt a little better after my cry, but when I stood up to go to the bathroom, I had to sit back down and stay down.  It wasn't until I finally thought of something to eat that wouldn't make me sick that I felt a little better.  But then I would feel better enough to get up and do something and I would over-do it and be back on the couch again.

I have been trying to eat little bits every hour, but it is hard to think of things that won't make me sick, and eating every hour is harder than I imagined!!  Once a few hours pass, I feel horrible again, and the thought of food is impossible.

I certainly hope this was a fluke or it will be over soon, because if this is what pregnancy is going to feel like ... well, this will be a LONG eight months!