Doctor Visit and GBS

I had my weekly doctor's appointment today.  The first thing I asked the doctor was if he could take her out today.  He said no.  Jerk.


It was a bit of an emotional visit after that, however, because he told me I was positive for Group B Strep, the bacteria they tested me for last week.  I started sobbing, so it turned into a little therapy session.  


Group B Strep, which is not related to Strep like Strep throat, is a bacteria that 10-35% of the pregnant female population hosts in their vaginal and/or rectal regions.  It is completely harmless to adults, but there is a chance of it being transmitted to the baby during delivery.  If the baby were to transmit the Strep, she could develop serious infections or pneumonia soon after birth.


What it means for me is that I will be on IV antibiotics during labor and delivery to reduce the chance of passing it along.  However, since I am allergic to penicillin, they will have to do some testing on me to see which antibiotic I will be able to tolerate.  I did not ask whether we will be able to do that ahead of time or it will be done when I get to the hospital since I was too busy freaking out and crying, but when I am calm tomorrow I will call and ask more questions.


The doctors say the chance of the baby having any complications is VERY slim since we will be prepared with antibiotics, but I can't help but freak out and feel so guilty.  This THING I have inside me could seriously hurt my baby, and that is my fault.  Okay, so I had no control over being one of the population to have this bacteria (it is not contracted or developed due to something I did), but it is still in ME and I am now exposing my baby to another complication on a day that could be full of complications.


Plus, I don't know as much about this as the doctors, so it is hard to just think, Oh, okay, they will hook me up to an IV.  No problem.  I keep thinking of the what-ifs:  What if I am at work and it takes me a long time to get to the hospital?  What if she is exposed to the bacteria before they have a chance to get the IV up and running? What if my sensitivity to most drugs causes problems and the antibiotics are not delivered on time or efficiently?  I never claimed to be someone who doesn't overreact or over-think things.


After that whole big bombshell he dropped on me, he checked the heartbeat, and it was loud and strong, and then told me it was good that I was having a few sporadic contractions.  After that, I was all prepared for him to check and see if I was dilated, but he says they don't do that until the 39th week unless there is a very good reason. He said many doctors don't do that preemptively anymore because it is very painful, and contractions or water breaking is a much more accurate sign of progress.  He said I could request one at any time, but at their practice they will not ever induce me unless there is an excellent reason, so if I was dilated and not contracting, they would just tell me to hang in there.


So, I asked him if I could request him breaking my water.  He said no. Again.  Even after I offered to bake him a cake.  Jerk.


After calling Jeremy and my mom sobbing, I went to Joann Fabric and finally bought some fabric for sheets for the cradle (I am going to keep her in our room for a while in the cradle my dad made for me when I was a baby).  I also finally bought a canvas, paints, and brushes to get started on a painting I want to make to hang in her nursery above the crib.  I hope it turns out!!!


Then I moped around the rest of the night, because crying exhausts me!  I know this Group B Strep is not the hugest thing in the world, but I am so frustrated and feel so out of control.  I have been trying so hard to do everything right, and now there is nothing I can do to minimize this risk for her.  I guess this is just practice for the rest of her life, right? :)